Tom Gilson

“The Crushing Burden of Divorce”

From David French of the Alliance Defense Fund:

The longer I live, and the more time I spend in the Christian conservative movement, the more keenly I’m aware of the extent to which divorce is devastating the Body of Christ.

[From The Crushing Burden of Divorce |]

It’s not just a burden, he goes on to say. It’s a tragedy the church must address.

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6 thoughts on ““The Crushing Burden of Divorce”

  1. As someone who emphatically did not choose divorce, I find French’s analysis painful, because he seems to pooh-pooh the reality of divorce recovery. My ex chose divorce; I did everything in my power to avoid it. It was the most painful experience of my life, leading me to despair of life without her.

    Thanks be to God, he really can turn all things to the good for those who love him. He used this time to break me of my pride. I learned to trust and truly love God with my entire life, not just my eternal destiny.

    French’s analysis sells short the Church by equating it with everyone who claims to be a Christian. Not all in the church have a living relationship with God and trust him fully. Most trust God for their eternal destiny and try to love according to his rule book. Few have fallen into the kind of fulfilling, transforming relationship God offers every one of us.

    As long as that’s the case, marriage in the church will appear no different from marriage in the world. Only those who know God’s overwhelming love have the capacity to truly love others and build marriages that model God’s love for fallen humanity and Christ’s love for the church.

  2. Ah the church and so many hypocritical messages from the leadership (for as you know they have a business to run, nickles and noses kind of stuff). I can not tell you how many times I have volunteered to teach marriage tools and techniques to maintain a healthy marriage. “Sounds great, lets do it” is as far as it goes in so many churches. I can tell you what not to do because I am divorced (I was awarded full custody of children, no visitation rights to the mother as she abandoned them so yea I know Mr. Knight what you are speaking about). I have re-married a widowed woman who had a happy marriage (although he was not a “church-goer”, oh now there is a thought actually living a Christian lifestyle without the hypocritical “church leadership”). She can tell couples what to do to maintain a great marriage as she had it up until his massive heart attack that killed him. We are not the only ones, but where are the churches who actively and dynamically teaching techniques to maintain marriages at all stages of life by those who have lived it?

    But the idea of teaching the young couples techniques to build marriages is way too radical for church “leadership”. I know it is quite crazy just like Titus 2:1-6. Insanity has been defined as doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Where are the churches who are actually doing things differently to reach the younger generations?

    Leprosy of the 21st Century – Divorce

  3. Dan

    I don’t know the author’s complete view but I find it hard to imagine he doesn’t make a distinction between those initiating a divorce and those being divorced. My denomination certainly does not condone divorce and has strictures associated with it. However, they do make that distinction.

    I know too that anyone in my church who was approaching such a decision would be offered pastoral and christian counseling to help avert such a tragedy. Also, we have a fairly comprehensive pre-marital program to help couples understand what their marriage means and help them with the decision to marry. I would hope this isn’t the exception.

  4. I don’t want to speak for David French on this, but my take on it is that the what needs to be addressed is the culture of divorce. It’s not a simple case of “Don’t Do It!” The social conditions supporting it are firmly established, and (unlike the SSM issue) it’s too late to say let’s just apply the brakes. It’s also not a matter of judging individual couples who divorce, but of turning around the culture, starting with the church.

  5. Pingback: “The Crushing…

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