Thinking Christian

A “Judgmentalism Inspector” just popped up on my computer. It scared me half to death. It may be blank now, but it’s watching. It’s inspecting my judgmentalism. It’s going to judge my judgmentalism.

Okay, you’re probably wondering where it really came from. I’m writing a passage on judgmentalism in my book (which is about two-thirds done now, by the way.) The software, Scrivener, includes an “Inspector” window where I can write summary information on each passage. In full-screen mode it shows up as a floating window, which is what you see in the image here. I don’t use it much—you can see I didn’t enter a synopsis. That’s one reason it surprised me when somehow it showed up there.

This just occurred to me: suppose someone says, “You’re being awfully judgmental!” Is that any different than being a Judgmentalism Inspector?

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I got some spam with a new twist on it today. My whole family is laughing. I guess they think the answer is no. The following is an exact copy-and-paste quotation. I could have entered “[sic]” in a dozen or more places, but I won’t clutter it up that way. This is an accurate copy.

From:

UNITED NATION

To:

undisclosed recipients

Title:

IS IT TRUE THAT YOU ARE DEAD?

Body:

Dear Beneficiary,

We are writing to let you know that one Mr Gumanti R. H. Sihombing MM from Jl. Sunggal 157, Kompleks Perumahan BPKP, Medan, Indonesia came to our Office today to claim your fund ($6.5Million) that is with our custody and said that you are dead, that he is your brother , you gave him Authority to claim your fund in case if you die. We are writing to find if it is true that you are dead so that your fund will be released to him.

If we did not hear from you within three working days that means you are dead true and your fund will be release to him.

Best Regards,

Mr. Sam Daws
Executive Director of United Nation Office In Uk
Postal Address United Nations Association of the UK 3 Whitehall Court
London

… etc.

My son’s friend says I should answer, “Yes, I’m dead. You’re lucky heaven has wi-fi or I wouldn’t be able to confirm this for you.” Anyway, this leads to some very important questions. Most of them are pretty easy:

• A “United Nation” is a very good thing. I wish ours was more united. But which nation is it from?
• It’s very personally addressed to “undisclosed recipients.” How many rich brothers does Mr. Gumanti R. H. Sihombing MM have?
• Who else died and made me the “Dear Beneficiary”?
• If I reply within three working days and tell them I’m dead, does that mean I’m not dead?
• Would that mean I could keep the $6.5Million I never knew I had?
• Does the United Nations really manage probate in the U.K.?
• Even if they did manage probate somewhere, would the U.N. turn over $6.5 million to someone who just walked in and claimed he was my brother?
• Why does “Mr Sam Daws” identify himself on one line as working for the “United Nation Office in the Uk,” and on the next as working for the United Nations Association (also listed on a website in the “etc.”)? Whatever the “United Nation” may be, it’s not the same as the United Nations Association—which is also not the same as the United Nations.
• Maybe he really works for an oil company. In the “etc.” I deleted from above he lists his “mobil” phone number.
• Does letting an email go unanswered for three days really mean I am “dead true”? If so, then I’ve been “dead true” a thousand times over! (I’ll bet you’re “dead true” too, if that’s all it takes.)
• Does “Best Regards” really fit as a closing after “that means you are dead true” and we’re giving away your fortune?
• Does anybody ever respond to messages like this?(I mean, other than for a laugh.) Why??
• More seriously: there’s no phishing in this, no fake web address to steal personal information. What’s its purpose? My guess is that it’s to harvest gullible responders’ email addresses, possibly for sale to email con artists. It would make for quite a premium list for their evil purposes.

Actually by God’s grace I am dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus (Romans 6:1-11). That’s worth more than $6.5 million any day!

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A postscript to counter my pessimism here: this evening my friend Shelly at Cerebration linked to a blog post well worth reading: The Ethics of Ice Cream (I like caffe, myself).

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Aaaaaghh!

I write like
Dan Brown

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I’ve never even read Dan Brown. Please, God, don’t let it be true that I’ve ever written anything like,

Overhanging her precarious body was a jaundiced face whose skin resembled a sheet of parchment paper punctured by two emotionless eyes.

And I really hope I’ve never committed anything like these other monstrosities.

The website doesn’t say what Dan Brown and I have in common. I doubt it analyzes for clunky constructions, and I’m sure it knows nothing about our theology. I wish it meant something about my potential sales!

I got this from David Heddle, whose analysis came out much more favorably. He probably didn’t know how bad it could turn out for me, so I think we can still be friends.

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There’s a form of spam only bloggers have to worry about: “ping spam.” What’s a ping, and how does it get spammed? Here’s a recent example of a ping sent my way. It happens automatically when one blog mentions another one in a blog post. Ping some other blog from your own, and a link to your web page shows up in their comments. It’s a great way to connect conversations from one blog to another. It’s also spammer’s dream. If they ping my blog, a link to their page shows up in my comments, and you, the ever-responsive reader, can visit their page and buy that hybrid Honda they’ve been aching to sell.

We have software to deal with ping spam. Obvious spam gets stopped cold, but the software sends doubtful pings through for the blogger to “approve.” Hybrid Hondas are about the worst thing I’ve seen it send through for evaluation, thankfully.

This morning my all-time favorite ping spam showed up. It was marvelous. Have you ever seen such depth of thought and insight?

Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher!

Shame, shame, shame on those nasty search engines! How could I disagree with that? How could I not approve such insightful analysis?

If only I could believe the same thing hadn’t been sent to a few thousand other blogs…

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… is (among other good things) blazing fast. Enjoy.

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My daughter asked me that this morning.

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