Carnival of Heartaches

(Update 8/6: Story Link Repaired.)

I wrote it a while ago, but the Carnival of Short Stories graciously linked to my "Only Natural" anyway. Of the other stories there--which are almost unremittingly of a depressed mood--the one that most caught my attention was by "John F Kennedy" at a blog called My Heart Aches and My Pen Bleeds. The story is "An Ode to Death." The author's self-description goes,

"Am just a spot of darkness in nothingness. You can not erase me, you can not make me darker. I will be in front of you and yet you shall not be able to spot me. Do you want to ? Do you? Then close your eyes and feel..Ssshh!! dnt speak just feel - I am the one that still breathes."

In the voice of one of his characters, he writes,

"Would anything matter to me when I finally sleep?

"Why then am I living my life too hard? Why am I always trying to be an edge apart and a step above those around me? Why do I hate some and love none? If nothing has to come to me in the end, nothing can give me all these comforts which I so desire now when I shall so need them the most why do I strive to possess it? Why then am I living now when I have to die tomorrow!? What is the purpose, the aim the final destination of my life?

"My death?

"That is? My life ends? Why then try so hard! Why study or work or amass wealth or love some when at the end I am going to be all alone, just me myself and I, stripped of all that I earned owned possessed and isolated of all whom I loved? Why why and why!

...

"The reason, the one thing that distinguishes me from a mechanized motorized pile of steel is my power to think and feel. And then again therein lies the cause of my misery. Why do I have this power to question the Lord when I am deprived of the ability to make him answer me! Why do I feel joy and pain when I am nothing but a puppet on this vast stage who can do little if his creator chose to end his part and pull his string?"

Perhaps this would be a good, though unintended, first answer to yesterday's question, along the lines of Randy's suggestion.

Posted: Sun - August 5, 2007 at 10:14 PM |

Thinking Christian by Tom Gilson getCategoryName("<$CategoryUUID$>");

Carnival of Heartaches

Thinking Christian by Tom Gilson